**As a quick note, I realize that this is a long piece. So, thank you for taking the time to read. I hope that you are able to find something of relates to you. Because, if you are reading my silly little thoughts, you most-likely helped inspire them.
Minus everything inside of quotation marks, I wrote everything. I would love to talk to you about anything I have written. I would love to meet up and talk. Or, just a long-winded email might do the trick!
I am posting this on my blog, because I figured it was the most appropriate application I really had.
And while, this is an annual tradition of mine to write a year-in-review, this one is certainly more personal and theological than those of the past. I hope that it does not bore or offend you. It is merely my take on how I am currently seeing the world. A time stamp of where I am. I hope you enjoy it.**
As the decade closes and a new one begins, I begin to look back as the snow falls during a cold Missouri night. The year two thousand nine, a year with the fate of extreme dreams and big plans from the onset. It was certainly a year that I will remember for quite some time. It was a year of exploration, travel, and growth. It taught me the power of the inherent finitely of time. And, as the year closes, it is only suiting to think back on some of the moments in time that occurred.
The year began as expected, myself, as a student ready to take on the big world. This year had the preconceived notion of being broken into two parts. Primarily, going back to school to begin my sophomore year in Columbia, working, keeping up the grades, and a new girlfriend to boot. Whereas, the second half was the year was planned to be a grand adventure. My trip the distant and mysterious, Argentina.
Now, one of the things I have learned over the last year is how silly my “organization” actually is. The plans themselves were fine. The problem is the application. As I am beginning to learn, there is only so much we are able to control in this life. And one of those things, no matter how hard we try, we cannot control is that of what happens in our life. While we have the ability and influence to control or modify some events, the vast majority of occurrences are just way out of our hands. And, as tough as that is for me to wrap my brain around, it most certainly is the truth. Now, the semester itself actually followed my general plan, but many adventures and stories appeared along the way.
My spring semester was one of great work. I say it was a semester of great work, because that was probably the most-involved semesters I have ever been a part of. On top of taking a full course load, I was juggling a job, a new long-distance girlfriend, going through a rigorous application process to study abroad, finding new housing for the following year, a road trip to Michigan and Indian with my best friend, making new friends, and trying to see as much as I could of the old ones. While the semester itself was a lot of work, it was also a very pleasant semester. Through everything, it was a semester of individual growth, as I was working my butt off, I was really learning a lot about myself. I had become settled-in to where I was in the world. I was working hard--but choosing to do so. Everything that was one my plate I had asked for. For as my life grew, I was being to understand the profound realization that this life is what you make it. And, while not every day was such a conscious effort, I did have a sense of what I was doing was purposeful.
My first semester itself was very good. Looking back, it was a semester where I really began to feel like I was starting to make this “college thing” a personal experience. My living situation and my support system were very strong. There were new opportunities that I took advantage of. It was spring at Mizzou. Really everything I dreamed of. Lots of work, but also a lot of fun. There were Bar-B-Ques, parties, volleyball, frisbee, tough questions group, learning to cook for myself every night, weekly traditions, paintings, new music, biking, and lots of dancing. I was beginning to understand how the trick to life was a balance. I was told a while ago, “Everything in moderation, and you will probably be alright.” What they never said, was that choosing your own fate is a daily task.
The summer was a dream. Literally. Being out of work, no classes, and a girlfriend back home, I opted to move to Kansas City for the summer. It was relaxed. I did house projects to help out—painting the deck, cleaning, etc. I ran errands, and was a taxi cab driver for my family. I didn’t mind it at all, I really enjoyed just being around. I got to take two incredible trips during the summer. One, with just my mother down to Mexico for a week. The other, a big family vacation on a Caribbean cruise with my dads and family. Both experiences were absolutely incredible. The locations that we visited were spectacular, but the solidarity of time with my family was indescribable. Each experience was completely unique, but so vital for what each entailed. While I was in Kansas City, I spent a lot of time between Lee’s Summit and the actual city of Kansas City. I was always on the move. My personal pride for my city increasing with the day. As I continued to move about, I always tried to keep in mind that at the end of the summer brought about some pretty big changes and that I better take advantage of the time I have.
In mid-summer, I boarded a big metal bird and flew down south. Welcome to Argentina, my home till the end of the year. The trip was an adventure. Many struggles met me from the onset, from Swine Flu to a host family member dying. But, I managed to learn. I had some great support both there and back home. The trip was highlighted with constant challenges. Many days, I would meet friends and we would all be mental exhausted. Not only learning how to live and study in one of the biggest cities in the world, but also, trying to do so within a foreign culture.
But, man, was I living. Everything is a process they say. And, as my time in Argentina continued, I began to learn. My Spanish improved. I began to understand the university, make friends, learn the bus system and neighborhood. I met people from around the world. All with their take on the way the world works. And all with their own style to life. I talked to many people--some rich, others quite poor, some of the people from powerful countries, others from the “first world”, some of the people I agreed with, and for many I listened to understand.
I began to travel. One of the main goals of the trip was to explore. And that is exactly what I set out to do. In a little over five months, I was able to some beautiful sights. From the northern border, all the way to El Fin del Mundo, over to the Andes Mountains and across El Rio de la Plata to Uruguay. The mentality of traveling is something completely not practical for everyday life, but necessary to understand the world.
Staying in hostels and meeting people from all over, you begin to see patterns. You begin to find that, no matter where someone is from—The United States, South America, Europe, Asia, Australia, people seem to be connect. I was able to hear some incredible stories--some incredible lives. Looking back, I see myself, very vividly, sitting early morning with a cup of coffee, in the absolute middle of nowhere, talking to a new friend. Someone I never would have had the slightest opportunity to meet lest be both had three things in common. One, that we both had an unquenched desire to see the world, and made it happen. Two, an understanding that having different opinions does not mean we are not able to understand each other, but that we are able to learn from each other. And, three, everyone likes to have fun!
Really throughout my life, I have had expectations or goals that are meant to be achieved at certain times. I should graduate high school, go to college, do well in school, get a job, etc. And while those goals are very important to me. My trip to Argentine was not that. It was not a goal. It was a vision, but without real destination. I knew going in, that it meant signing up from some difficult situations, and putting things in the future on the backburner--primarily my financial situation. But, something incredible happened—as I began to live this life without a clear end in sight, I was able to find myself. Yes, it was a less organized, certainly a little less well-groomed, and always confused about at least three or four things. But, it was good, and it was true. Throughout my life I have been proud of my accomplishments. However, this was different. It was not predetermined, there was not set plan. And while the day-to-day activities of my trip were certainly not as whimsical daily as I make them sound, they certainly had a profound impact on me as a person. Through constant failure and success of dozens of daily struggles, I began to understand that sometimes the little things build up way too high, and that I need to focus on the important things in life. A big realization for me.
“The way we spend our days is how we spend out life” is a quote I once read on a bathroom wall. Through the day-to-day challenges I face, so often I forget to simply stop and recognize where I am. I think being in such a foreign place helped me do that, being away of what is familiar. Yet, it is a lesson I am not going to forget. I am trying to understand where I am and not forget about the present. There is a lot that can happen in the future, some controllable, most of it not. And plans are very important; they give a path to our destiny. However, I sometimes fall into the trap of a being way too organized. Now that I am back, I plan on just relaxing and remember that time is finite, and I only can choose how to live what is given to me.
This being the New Year, I do have some resolutions. I would like to take pleasure in watching those around me grow this year. It is going to be a big year for many people close to me. Some moving into college, others getting ready to leave, houses will be up for sale, and many decisions are yet to be made involving some big plans for a lot of my close ones. I really want to take the pleasure in learning about who they are becoming and to try and be a part of that. My other resolution is that of continuing a path for myself. Realizing that the things I have learned throughout my life build upon each other. Many times when people get back from being abroad, they say the return home and feel like a different person. I do not know about being a different person, but I do feel more “myself” or more comfortable in who I am. All the while, recognizing that is one confused being. I plan to move forward with what I have discovered, and to move forward, sometimes stumbling, into the growth and promise that comes from an open mind and a willing heart. I want to learn to discover and live with what is important for me in this world.
Time is linear. We are not.
For as we continue to grow and progress, we sometimes characterize certain generalities of time throughout our life. Yet, we are unequivocally and undeniably alive with the sheer potential of learning to grow within the celestial and imperfectness of the present. Learning to understand what presence really means.
To all of you who have been with me throughout the year. I say, thank you.
I wish everyone the absolute best in the coming year!
With Love,
-Chip Greenwell
